Last night, we dug deep into the question: When is it time to let go of a relationship that’s stagnant or toxic?

What I’ve come to realize is this—while we talk a lot about what makes a relationship “healthy,” the line between fighting for love and fighting within it has become dangerously blurred. Too many people are holding on—not because it’s still love, but because it’s familiar. Because of guilt, fear, time, or the haunting question: What if we could still make it work?

Let me be clear: I believe in growth. I believe in fighting together to heal and build something beautiful. But when the fight is one-sided—when it’s costing you you—then it’s time to stop and reevaluate.

We talk about how hard it is to leave, and that’s true. But what we don’t talk about enough is how expensive it is to stay.

We think enduring pain is noble. That swallowing our needs is strength. That if we just keep going, things will eventually get better. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself…

What is it costing me to stay?

Sometimes it’s:

Your joy, hobbies, and passions Your goals and dreams Your friendships and family connections Your boundaries and your self-worth Your sleep, your peace of mind Your ability to feel safe, loved, and supported Your mental and emotional wellness

If you’re losing all of that just to hold on… are you really winning?

When to Fight vs. When to Walk: A Gut-Check Guide

Fight when…

Both people are willing to do the work There’s mutual respect, even in conflict The issue is fixable and not fundamentally damaging (e.g., communication issues, stress, parenting disagreements) You both still feel safe, heard, and emotionally connected You’re growing together, even if slowly

Walk when…

You are the only one fighting for the relationship Abuse of any kind—emotional, physical, financial, verbal—is present Your needs, dreams, or identity are constantly being minimized or ignored You no longer feel emotionally safe, respected, or seen Staying is turning you into someone you no longer recognize

A Gentle Reminder:

You’re allowed to grieve what you thought it would be.

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the leaving.

It’s letting go of the story you told yourself.

The one where love was supposed to fix everything.

The one where they were supposed to change.

The one where you believed your love could heal it all.

But here’s what I need you to hear…

Letting go doesn’t mean it never mattered.

Walking away doesn’t mean you gave up.

It means you finally told the truth:

This is not what I deserve.

You are not here to shrink in the name of history, potential, or fear.

You are here to thrive. To feel joy. To love and be loved fully.

You are the most important part of this story.

Don’t lose sight of that.