There was a time when I couldn’t wait to come home.

Home wasn’t a place—it was you.

The sound of your laugh, the way you used to look at me from across the room, the comfort of your presence without words.

Home was the space we created—imperfect, maybe, but ours. Safe. Warm. Real.

But lately…

Lately, home doesn’t feel the same.

The Shift I Didn’t Want to See

For months, maybe years, I’ve ignored the signs.

The quiet tension.

The way we pass each other like strangers in a hallway we once danced in.

The conversations that start but never finish.

The questions that go unanswered. The affection that no longer feels effortless.

I kept convincing myself it was just a season.

Work stress. Parenting. Life.

We’ve been through worse, right?

But deep down, I knew—

Home was changing.

The Ache of Emotional Disconnection

It’s not the fights that hurt the most.

It’s the silence.

The absence of laughter.

The small daily moments that once held connection, now laced with obligation or worse—indifference.

I come home and feel more alone than I did out in the world.

Not because you’re unkind…

But because you’re no longer with me—even when you’re beside me.

And I wonder…

Is this what happens when love is left unattended?

When we stop asking each other how we’re really doing?

When survival replaces intimacy?

I Miss Us. I Miss You. I Miss Me.

I don’t want to play the blame game.

This isn’t about who stopped trying first.

This is about a truth I can no longer ignore:

I don’t feel safe here anymore.

Not physically.

Emotionally.

My heart doesn’t exhale like it used to.

My smile feels forced.

My presence feels tolerated, not welcomed.

And I don’t know how to unfeel that.

Can We Find Our Way Back?

Part of me wants to run.

To give up before I’m completely emptied.

To go where my soul can breathe again.

But the other part—the one who still remembers our beginning—

Wants to fight for us.

But we can’t fix what we won’t name.

And we can’t grow where we won’t look.

So here I am, asking:

Do you still see me?

Do you still feel us?

Because I’m tired of coming home to a house that holds our things… but none of our joy.

I’m tired of performing “fine” when my heart is breaking.

Final Thought

If home is where the heart is…

And my heart no longer feels at home with you…

What does that make this?

I don’t want to leave.

But I can’t keep staying in a place where love feels like a memory.

We need to either rebuild…

Or be honest enough to let each other go.

Because love isn’t supposed to feel like this.

Home isn’t supposed to feel like this.

– Kaydian Roberts Mais

(@jugglingmommy | Juggling Love and Life