Why do we ignore all the signs?

Are we secretly hoping we’re wrong?

Are we waiting for things to get better?

Are we just trying to stick it out one more time?

Or—are we afraid?

Afraid to be alone.

Afraid to start over.

Afraid to process the pain…

To deal with ourselves.

Why do we stay in these toxic relationships when we know we shouldn’t? When everything in our mind and body is screaming no?

We try so hard to find that one reason…

The one thing. The one spark. The one piece of hope. And we hold onto it like it’s gold.

We give it a name: Faith. Hope. Destiny. Coincidence. Memory. History. “A sign.”

But what is it, really?

What ties us so deeply to a person that the mere thought of walking away feels more gut-wrenching than staying? Why do we convince ourselves to try again—again and again?

The Lie We Tell Ourselves

Maybe it’s because we are human—wired for love, comfort, connection, and interaction. So wired, in fact, that we become vulnerable… even powerless. So powerless that we can’t even tell ourselves the truth.

The truth that we are far better off outside of the thing we’ve romanticized in our minds.

Because thoughts are powerful. Your mind will play tricks. It will dress up pain and call it passion. It will repackage dysfunction and sell it as destiny.

And your heart, longing for love, will believe it.

Soon your actions will follow.

And before you know it, you’ll be back in the same cycle—convinced it’s working.

Convincing yourself you just need to try harder.

The Price of Staying Too Long

That’s why we stay.

We stay longer than we should.

And we end up in deeper pain than we ever bargained for.

And yet… the idea of leaving? It doesn’t feel much better, does it?

It’s not so great out there either.

Ok, let’s be real—it’s awful.

It’s lonely. It’s cold.

It’s confusing.

It can feel hopeless and scary.

So yeah, you’re right.

Maybe it is better to stay.

Or Is It?

Because if we’re being honest… aren’t we already miserable?

Aren’t we already lonely? Scared? Emotionally exhausted?

Aren’t we already feeling disconnected, unseen, unheard?

So what’s the difference?

If we’re going to feel those things anyway…

Wouldn’t it be better to feel them on our own terms?

To at least feel them while reclaiming our sanity, our peace, our self-worth?

What if starting over isn’t the punishment we think it is—but the beginning of freedom?

The Undoing of the Complications

It only gets messy when things are intertwined—marriage, kids, years of shared life.

It gets hard to pull it all apart without unraveling yourself in the process.

So we stay.

We wait.

We miss the deadline.

We ask ourselves if it’s too late.

If there’s still hope.

If things will ever change.

Or… if hope is just another lie we cooked up for survival.

The Truth You Already Know

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Staying hurts.

Leaving hurts.

But only one of those pains leads to healing.

One keeps you stuck.

The other sets you free.

You don’t need to have it all figured out today.

You just need to tell yourself the truth—and let that truth carry you through the fear.

Because walking away doesn’t mean you failed.

It means you’re finally choosing you.

And that’s not weakness.

That’s courage.

Journal Prompt:

What am I clinging to that is actually hurting me?

What truth have I been avoiding because fear feels safer than freedom?