There’s so much pressure out there to find yourself. To know who you are and what you’re about. To be confident. To be certain. But… if there’s one thing life has taught me is that nothing is 100% no matter how hard you try and how much you put in the work. It will not always work out and that is okay.

There is absolutely no rush or need to know what you need to be when you are 16.17.18.19 or even 20. Do you know how many jobs I’ve quit? How many times I thought I was “certain” of something just to watch things play out differently? I used to think it was because I’m lazy or not as dedicated as the others were. I tried so many things. I read so many books and watched so many videos giving me all sorts of advice on how to stay awake, stay motivated, be disciplined, stay consistent, grind harder, etc, etc. I bought pills to try and make my brain work harder. Everything you could think of, I did it. And you know what? None of it worked!! At least not for me. And it took me a very long time to get to the root of the problem.

I wasn’t lazy or uninspired even though I used to think that. It’s quite the opposite. See, I’m a very passionate person. I love to take care of others and do things that will be of great impact. I love to think I connect with others on a deeper level. Not only were these jobs not feeding my soul but they simply weren’t meant for me. I’m a firm believer in following your passion and natural gifts in life. It is easier said than done. Trust me I know. And it also takes a very long time to figure it out. If you don’t take the time to experience different things and experiment in life you sometimes never do learn who you truly are and what lights your soul on fire. And trust me when I say there is no greater loss than living a life unfulfilled.

Life is filled with trial and error. There is so much to learn and unlearn about who we are before we ever become certain of anything. And I know it seems as though others have it figured out. They do,not. Don’t be fooled. This is why we see so many go through what we call “midlife crisis”. When we spend the majority of our lives living to please others and not ourselves we tend to end up with a crisis on our hands. When this happens our lives come to a halt. Suddenly success becomes meaningless and all that we have accomplished now come into question. was it all worth it? Was this really what I wanted? We ask ourselves. The answer begins to play itself out often or not. We start doing the things we never got to experience. We make all kinds of mistakes that we never got to before. We start acting out of character so to speak. To the onlookers, we should know better”. The only way to know better or do better is to let it play out and we learn from it.

Some of us date younger people than our age. Some quit the jobs that are sucking their soul dry. Some end abusive or meaningless relationships. Some dress or act differently. And these are all allowed!! There is nothing wrong with these people. They are just going through an important part of life that they once skipped over. So, stop beating yourself up about not being where you are supposed to be because trust me when I say that you are exactly where you NEED to be at this very moment. And if for some odd reason, you don’t think that’s true then ask yourself where is it that you want to go. Where is it that you should be right now? And then make a plan to get there.

It’s okay to not know in your 20s. It’s okay to start over in your 30s, 40s, or even 50s. Life is unpredictable and will take you places you never thought it would. Embrace it. Don’t feel ashamed. You’re NOT a failure by any means. And if you choose a different route for your life than most are used to, then I say go for it. This life is yours to live however you choose. Enjoy it!!!