When trauma hits and you’ve survived what was meant to kill you!! You get praise. People are AMAZED at how you made it through. But the real trauma is left with you. The internal trauma of trying to figure it out for yourself a second time. Trying to figure out the next steps. How do you move forward? You try putting one foot before the other. But sometimes those steps are slower than you think. When you expect recovery to look a certain way only to realize how different it is. You aren’t used to this phase. This newness. It all seems so foreign. You get mad at yourself thinking you should be doing more. But in all honesty, you are doing the MOST! “More” no longer looks the same or even works out the same. This is your new normal. Everything HAS changed. It’s not familiar, but it is necessary. See, at the pace you were going you would have crashed. This is why you hit such a huge bump. To purposely slow you down. I know you hate it. I know you would fight it if you could. This is why some things are out of our control. Your new normal will change, again. Things will become more familiar as you adapt. You will no longer feel strange and then you will have developed a new profound taste for life and the challenges it brings.